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Behavioral Cues
Not long ago, behavior change was thought to be one of the best ways for parents to detect substance abuse. We now know that this wisdom was a bit off mark. To begin with, trying to detect subtle behavior changes amongst a group of teenagers is like trying to get your eyes to fixate on one of those optical illusions that hang in dentist waiting rooms. Teenagers naturally experience wide swings in temperament. Their eating habits and sleep patterns fluctuate. Their interests and friends change frequently. Even professionals have trouble pulling important cues out of this mess of raging hormones and rapid psychological development. It is no wonder why parents do as well.
Another important acknowledgment is that prominent behavioral changes only manifest once a person has begun their decent into deeper levels of addiction. So by the time we recognize them, we’ve already missed our best, and perhaps last, chance to prevent substance abuse from becoming a constant fixture of our child’s life. Many people who don’t personally know a drug addict or alcoholic mistakenly believe that addiction can be readily cured through intervention and rehabilitation. Some parents make the mistake of giving substance abuse issues “a chance to pass”, as if it is a cold or natural developmental phase. But there is a reason why addicts celebrate daily, monthly and yearly anniversaries for their sobriety. The truth is, once addiction has you, it becomes one of the most encompassing facets of your human experience. So with the stage set, understand that your focus should be on detecting behaviors that signal an interest or intent to engage in substance abuse, not behaviors that signal the onset of a substance abuse problem.
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Secrecy: That being said, parents will want to watch out for signs of secrecy. Be careful to distinguish between “secrecy” and “privacy”. It is natural for teens to demand increasing levels of privacy as they take on a more autonomous role at home. It is not, however, natural for them to become sneaky. Locking the bathroom door is privacy. Climbing out of a bedroom window at night is secrecy. Privacy issues can be negotiated on a case by case basis, but it’s important to be on the lookout for behavior that indicates a purposeful attempt to conceal something or to avoid adult supervision. Unless there have been problems with theft, there is no justification for a bedroom door to remain locked any longer than it takes to change into pajamas. It conveys a lack of trust and is disrespectful to the homeowners. Family members need to be able to respect each other’s privacy without the need for physical barriers.
Eating Habits: It is common for teenagers to develop voracious appetites. One characteristic eating habit to be mindful of though, is the child who binges on high calorie, fatty foods either prior to dinner, or after returning home from a night out. Marijuana use triggers cannabinoid receptors in the subject’s brain, which stimulates hunger. Yes, the munchies are real. Snack foods are the common crave. As the bumper sticker reads “It’s 4:20, and I’ve got the munchies”. The hours directly after school are a very common time to for kids to smoke marijuana. Oftentimes, they return home looking for a feedbag. Similar behavior after a night with friends can mean the same thing. A prudent technique would be to note any potential pattern of this behavior and strategically administer a marijuana test. Another option would be to use a marijuana test-wipe to swab the possessions that the munching teen carried when they first came home.
Excessive use of caffeine can be a sign of depressant use, such as alcohol or pain medication. Take care to distinguish between a morning cup of Joe and the “morning after” vat of cappuccino. If the caffeine is consumed at 11 am, instead of 6 am; if it proceeds a night out and if it’s accompanied by a headache, excessive urination and general sluggishness, it’s time for you to ask some more questions.
Grooming: Eye drops are commonly used by marijuana smokers as a means of “getting the red out”. Breath mints and mouthwash are often used in an attempt to conceal odors on the breath. Nu-breath, is one particular brand of mint that claims to eliminate the odor of alcohol. Perfumes and body sprays are commonly applied to mask odors on the hair or clothes. Distinguishing between the normal use of these normal products, and the sneaky use, is not as hard as you might think. Kids, just like adults, spritz up before going out. If you hear the body spray going off before they come down for dinner, your suspicions should be aroused. It they’re sucking on a fresh breathmint when they walk in the door, you should wonder why. If you see them dousing themselves in perfume before walking up to the house, you know something’s up.
Expression: Values are like fingerprints, kids leave them on everything that they touch. Be mindful of the messages your child sends or endorses. Today, digital communication is the purest form of this expression. What are they talking about online? What do they joke with their friends about? If you don’t look and listen, you’ll never know. Be creative. One mom recently wrote in how she’s willingly become the town chauffer. Her daughter sits in the back of the minivan with her friends. Mom turns the music up, then adjusts the fader so that only the rear speakers are on. The kids talk louder, and she gets all the gossip.
Pro-substance abuse messages are not hard to decrypt. The trick is tuning in and paying attention. While jokes and sarcastic remarks don’t always indicate a current problem, they should never go unaddressed. The commercial, social and pop-cultural values do not have your child’s best interest in mind. They reinforce one another at every turn. Therefore, it’s your job to seize upon any opportunity to reinforce the healthy values of your family.
Neon Signs: Changes in friends, hobbies, sleeping patterns, eating habits and interests can be a sign of substance abuse. More reliably, an abrupt change in social groups -a distinct break away from long held friendships- can be a sign or predictor of a move towards substance abuse. Likewise, a loss of interest in long cherished hobbies can signal the decent into addiction. Missing valuables from the home, the loss of prescription medications, unexplained absences from school or missed family obligations should also trigger alarms.
While all of these signs can be inconclusive, they can in fact yield important clues which, when taken together with logical inferences, might help an alert parent save their child’s future. Care enough tune in, and have the confidence to ask why?