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On November 6, 2012, Washington and Colorado became the first two states to legalize marijuana for recreational use. In an ironic twist, what would seem to signal a dramatic defeat for preventionists, may actually be a win for both sides.

In these recent efforts, the mainstream marijuana movement has embraced a “Right to Get High” platform. By dispensing with the compassionate camouflage of “medicinal use”, the pro-legalization advocates seem to be inviting meaningful debate on a level that is more honest with the public and more transparent for our children. That’s a win for everyone.

Medicinal marijuana initiatives have long been open to a relatively extensive list of inescapable contradictions. For many, the thought of any “medicine” being approved for use by layperson voters is both medically reckless and intellectually ludicrous. Plagued by scientific falsehoods and characterized by famously flamboyant dispensing practices, both the pro-marijuana movement and the public have come to acknowledge “medicinal marijuana initiatives” as an incremental political pursuit of recreational use.

The medicinal-use platform has not suffered much for it’s tongue-in-cheek approach to legalization. Still, history will undoubtedly view the tactic as manipulative, if not exploitative. The legalization issue has historically seen its share of propaganda from both sides. Though the recent campaigns were certainly not free of such embellishments, Washington and Colorado may signal a move towards more rational debate.

Research has clearly proven marijuana use to be a significant danger for our children and a pressing public health concern. In that, it shares honorable mention in the company of alcohol and tobacco; both of which may be used legally. This conflict raises a valid inquiry and it deserves a more valid dialogue. The nation must decide if it is willing to accept the burden of increased marijuana use in favor of its recreational contribution to society. All hyperbole aside, “Should we be able to get high if we want to?

The Road To Legalization

As experience with tobacco and alcohol prove daily, health and safety concerns are irrelevant to the legality of a substance that enjoys public endorsement and private capitalization. Drug legalization exists today as a purely political issue; a popularity contest. Our laws, and our fate, will ultimately be determined by whomever gets their message out most effectively. Today, there is no question as to who is doing that better.

The pro-marijuana initiative endured decades of defeat before cleverly reinventing itself and growing into its present day political powerhouse. They have cultivated the press, capitalized the industry, organized powerful donors, employed influential lobbyists, recruited celebrity endorsements, dominated social media, infiltrated youth culture, invigorated their base and gotten the vote out with magnificent efficiency. The movement has become a political steamroller and for those who are watching, the future seems to be written.

Ironically, preventionists can only hope to rebound if they are able to learn from their counterparts. Unless they can regroup, reinvent themselves, reinvigorate their base and respond to the changing political atmosphere, our nation will soon choose to embrace both the savor and suffering of The Right to Get High.

About the author:

Timothy Shoemaker’s recent e-book “There’s More To Life“, inspires Drug-Free living from from a powerful motivational perspective. For more information, visit TimothyShoemaker.com.

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Ever feel like your brain is stuck in a rut? This cool little mindgame, demonstrated by a fun & free video, will help you become more of a free thinker. Give it a try!

Depending upon how you view the world, this mindgame will either strike you as being ridiculously effortless or frustratingly difficult. It challenges you to see the world in a way that you aren’t used to. Have fun with it. Show it to enough of your friends and you’ll soon be rewarded with at least one “total freekout!

Paradigms are sticky modes of thought. They provide templates for our brain to easily identify and categorize information. They guide a lot of our opinions and motivate many of our actions. As we age and solidify our views, we accept more and more paradigms into our though process. While making for quick thoughtless decisions, these patterns can also cause us to stereotype, mislabel, underestimate and misjudge things.

We must always be willing to surrender what we are, in favor of what we might rise to become. -Author’s Note

Many of our environments actually impose paradigms upon us. The challenge is to identify those environments and isolate their effects. If you let them, they will exert control over your actions without you even realizing it.

In high school, the social environment may very well make you feel like everyone is drinking when in actuality they are not. In work environments, you may feel that everyone takes a little extra time at lunch, when only a few people really do. At home, you may feel as though your father or spouse is unusually imposing, even if his approach is on par with that of most caring family members. It’s up to us to challenge the potential stereotypes in our lives, particularly those which could negatively impact our relationships or life choices.

Though sad, it is true that most people in life will not be successful, are not very careful and do not give enough thought to their choices. Unfortunately, these are the same people who tend to set the trends and enforce the paradigms that may be limiting you. Aspire to be the trend setter, not the follower.

For more on this topic or to see more posts like this, visit TimothyShoemaker.com

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Do you live in New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Connecticut? If you do, you no longer have to feel alone with a particularly dubious distinction. For the first time in any of our lifetimes, the average American is now more likely to die from a drug overdose than from a car crash. It’s an unprecedented mortality rate that, until recently, only a handful of states could claim ownership of.

This stomach-turning statistic sheds more light on a trend that prevention officials have been desperately broadcasting for several years now. Strangely, their cries have been falling upon an uncharacteristically disinterested public and inattentive media.

Many adults who lived through the crack cocaine epidemic of the 80′s or heroin plagued 90′s may recall the aggressive outing of America’s then dirty little secret. At the time, the plague of addiction and overdose flooded our media. It was a theme that became conspicuously embedded in many of the day’s pop culture icons, spawning a litany of movies, P.S.A.’s, articles and editorials. The difference between then and now is troubling to say the least, particularly given the ironic fact that prescription drug overdoses now outpace those of cocaine and heroin combined.

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who are broken, but because of we who choose not to get involved. -Author’s Note

These are critically important times, but the average person doesn’t seem to know it. Try telling the average New Jerseyian that they are more apt to be killed by drugs than by one of their fellow Jersey motorists and you’re likely to be met by disbelief. But when you consider that America’s number one prescribed drug is no longer Amoxicillan or Lipotor, but the opiate Vicodin, you’ve got yourself a very blatant -and ominous- sign of the times. Getting that message to the public is mission number one. Prompting action is another thing altogether. For those who’ve cared to read this far, consider the following fact for motivation:

In just 14 minutes from now, another one of our neighbors, mothers, brothers, sisters or sons will be lost to a drug overdose. It’s a cycle that will continue all day long. It will start again tonight at midnight and continue for the rest of the week, month, year and decade. In fact, it will continue indefinitely -until we decide to stop it.

Will you help us stop it? Start by forwarding this message. Do it liberally. Do it before you click away. Do it now. Together we can save a life, save a country, and save a future worth being proud of. Get involved.

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Vincent Van Gogh once remarked, “Great things are done not by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.” There is perhaps no one who could have made a more profound and appropriate statement. Each of Van Gogh’s heralded masterpieces was born not of a single act or impression, but from hundreds of seemingly insignificant brush strokes. Hours, days and sometimes weeks would run together as blank canvass gradually evolved into eye-popping splendor.

Whatever challenge lies before your child right now, whatever dream they have yet to achieve, remind them that it will not be accomplished in a single climax of effort, exuberance or fortune. It will be achieved by a logical and deliberate application of forethought, technique, and commitment.

Take the time to identify the many small acts that will bring about their success. Help them blur their vision of that main goal, as hard as that often is, and focus intently on mastering the small independent constituents of success. Whether in art, sports, academics or business, the most successful amongst us are those who have become adept as this practice.

It can be very tempting to focus on the finish line, especially for kids. But in most cases, we can’t get there without focusing on the process instead. -Author’s Note

Are they starting a new sports season? Are they heading back to school? Are they saving for a toy or building a new relationship? Whatever their endeavor, help them pursue it with the dogged and deliberate premeditation that it deserves. You are never too young, too old, or too successful to apply this principal. Make today the day that they start on their new masterpiece; one brilliant brush stroke at a time.

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What should you do if your teen suddenly informs you that they’ve “tried” alcohol or drugs? Your best bet might be to put them on a lie detector! Perhaps more times than not, this earth-shattering admission could be nothing more than a cryptic plea for guidance.

I would never advise any mentor to take a confession like this lightly, but I am happy to offer a ray of light for those who’ve just had a bomb like this dropped on them. Some teens would rather have their parents think that they’ve “tried” drugs, than risk exposing their own indecisiveness. Crazy, maybe, but true. Somewhere amongst the quest for independence, the struggle for autonomy, the confusion of immaturity and flux of evolving family roles, kids become a little squeamish about asking Daddy for advice. In this mixed up mindset, “I tried it”, can be preferable to “I’m thinking about trying it.”

“With a little technique, you can offer some very potent guidance, while at the same time improving rapport with your teen.” – Author’s Note

I’ve followed more than a few friends through this scenario. In several cases, it later turned out to be nothing more than a sly probing attempt on the part of the teen. What they really meant to say was, “This is an issue for me right now. I feel that it’s my choice to make, but I’d like your input.”

Keep this context in mind, before you respond. Rather than bluntly tell them how you think, or how they should think, use a little verbal judo. The ninja-communicator in you might say something like:

“I really respect the fact that you chose to talk about this. You can probably guess how I feel about it. I’m more interested in how you feel. Tell me:”

  • In general, how do feel about people who (drink underage or use drugs etc.)?
  • What are you hoping drugs will do for your life that you don’t have now?
  • It’s illegal. Are you worried about getting caught?
  • Every addict/alcoholic started with one try. Are you scared of getting addicted?
  • We all have people who look up to us, or depend upon us. How would (fill in the blank) feel if they knew about your decision?

Each of these questions gives a gentle nudge in the right direction, while providing you with some good leads for follow-up topics. If you’re really crafty, you can even begin to vet out the voracity of their statement. Remember, the first drink, puff or hit a person takes, is always the most memorable. If it’s true, the details are there. So, following your gentle path of persuasion, you could now ask things like:

  • I’ve never tried it myself (or) I hear it’s a lot different these days, how exactly did you do it?
  • It’s different for everyone right? What exactly did it feel like?
  • I never really thought about you doing that, are most kids doing that these days?
  • You’re so young. Is it really that easy to get?
  • How did you feel about yourself after you did it? Can you see yourself doing it again?

Teens LOVE expressing themselves; even more so when they feel that their insight is valued. If they breached the topic, these enticing inquiries will likely blow it wide open. But that’s not all, by simply asking a few gentle questions, you’ve gone a long way towards helping your teen work their way through this tough subject. You’ve also gathered valuable Intel, which will ultimately guide your next move. Last and best of all, the respect you’ve shown has likely improved the rapport between you and your teenie.

Hopefully, this quick session will expose the confession to be nothing more than a request for guidance. Unfortunately, it does expose the high stakes of their environment. If you’re left with serious suspicions of drug use, you’re going to need to jump on it as quickly and thoroughly as possible. As bad as drug use is, teen drug use is particularly devastating to young futures. For more on dealing with these issues, please visit the Responding to Drug Use Page.

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In a recent guest post published on Vanessa VanPetten’s, RadicalParenting.com, I discussed what is undoubtedly the single most important factor in the prevention of teen substance abuse. Ironically, it is factor commonly overlooked by parents, until of course it’s too late.

The desire to be sober, is a virtual inoculation against drug and alcohol abuse. If sobriety has been incorporated into a child’s belief system, the otherwise powerful allures of advertising, curiosity and social pressure become irrelevant.

If you think that your child holds these views already, it’s time to look again. Today, only half of 10th graders, and less than 60% of 8th graders, believe that weekly binge drinking is risky behavior. What’s more, 80% of these kids say that alcohol is easy to get. That means that one out of every two teenagers today, walks around with the means and mentality to have more than 5 drinks per sitting, once or twice every weekend. (1)

“Knowing is not the same as believing. This simple proverb may hold the key to your child’s future.” – Author’s Note

It’s no wonder parents lament over the seeming impotence of traditional preventative techniques. We set clear expectations, we enforce rules, we educate, and we minimize opportunity. But once our kids immerse themselves in the energetic and versatile teen social realm, we all but throw our hands up in desperation. Our influence weakens. External social pressure strengthens. Much of their time is unsupervised and many of their friends are already making mistakes. Faced with an impossible challenge, some parents openly accept substance abuse, and hope instead that their kids will just be “careful” with it.

But no parent should have to fear this loss of control. Imagine if things were simpler. Imagine if these external influences didn’t matter. Imagine if you didn’t have to worry about loosing control, because your child had clearly taken control. It’s true that some kids adamantly believe in sobriety. Some kids hold strongly negative views regarding substance abuse, and make the firm and conscious choice to stay clean. These kids are impervious to the temptation and pressure that others succumb to.

I was one of these kids, and since my tween years I have interviewed and associated with hundreds of others who held similar dispositions. None of these people are prohibitionists, social misfits, or boring doo-gooders. They obeyed the law. They believed the warnings. And they chose responsibility. There are many ways for you to help your child grow into this disposition, but you can’t wait for them to be a teen. It’s just too late. The adds, the commercials, the reality TV shows, and the people at your parties, are creating your child’s belief system. Your job is to counteract all of that influence.

As the barrage of external stimuli forces its way into your child’s consciousness, it must be tempered by the character of your positive imagery. Never assure yourself by saying, “My child knows what is wrong”. Of course they do! But knowing is not believing. Your kids have surely proven this proverb often enough already. Now that we acknowledge it again, take this impetus to foster their belief. Build their character from the inside out, and insulate your awesome kid against the horrors of substance abuse.

For more on this subject, view the original post on RadicalParenting.com. Or visit the Prevention Made Simple page on this site. Click here for more posts by Timothy Shoemaker.

There is a never-ending supply of human tragedy, suffering and regret associated with underage drinking and substance abuse. If you need facts, visit our Underage Drinking page. If you need today’s relevant news stories, visit our Talking Points page.

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No matter who you are, or what you’re doing, it’s time your organization took a look in the mirror. There are more than 1.5 million nonprofit organizations operating in the U.S. today. As staggering as this number is, it ignores the innumerable PTA’s, neighborhood groups, recreation committees and other ‘off-the-books’ type associations that we parents are most likely to be involved in. Amongst this vast and diverse group of formal and informal organizations, there exists a common -and sometimes crippling- identity crisis. Many of these groups don’t know who they are.

Every group needs to embrace and project a well-defined set of attributes. It’s members, and the bystanders with whom the group may interact, need to have a clear understanding of the association’s ideals, motives and behavioral characteristics. Without this forethought, the group will be handicapped from the start. High turnover, fluctuating commitment and disproportionate efforts will surely characterize the membership. Without a well-developed group identity, some team members quickly find themselves tired, disappointed or disillusioned. Innovation and quality will be sacrificed for convenience. Ideas will fail for lack of follow-through, and team morale will quickly become a figment of the organization’s past.

“No matter what your cause, there exists an inventory of people waiting to work with you. They just don’t know it yet. Make a commitment, to earn their commitment.” – Author’s Note

Most of our organizations are hastily brought together, and tentatively held together, by a small impassioned group. We call this “the committed core.” Though the term sounds kind of neat, we need to do whatever we can to avoid it. For while its true that short-term collaborations can subsist on personal friendships and individual efforts, none can survive this way, much less thrive this way. Intense individual efforts limit the breadth and longevity of a group’s effectiveness. What we need instead, is steady collaborative progress accomplished through a well-proportioned delegation of responsibilities. In order for this to happen, there must be a strong group identity. This identity is what draws other members into the group, and secures their commitment to common goals, principals and beliefs.

Short-term affiliates and exploratory new memberships are the fast food meals of the organizational realm. You’ll see these people float in and out of your ranks. While this kind of help can get things done, it doesn’t necessarily translate into “progress” for your organization. If you want your group to grow, and your efforts to be reinvested, you’ll need to fill your ranks with assets that are committed to the advancement of your association. If you want to know which type of membership you currently have, try this quick test. Walk into your next meeting and pose the question, “Who are we?“. Not “What do we do?”, or “Why are we here?”; as those answers are self-evident. Instead, you want to know:

  1. What are our core values?
  2. Where does our compass point?
  3. What do we want others to know about us?
  4. Why would people want to join us?

When you do this, you’re guaranteed to get a few weird looks, and at least as many different answers. If you press the discussion just a bit, you’ll be surprised to find how many people have been sitting next to you, or working alongside you, without a clear reason ‘why’. Worse yet, without a definitive and conspicuous group identity, you’re guaranteed to find some team members with an ambiguous or subjective view that is out of whack, or even contrary to the group’s intended purpose. Neither of these circumstances are tolerable.

So it’s time to get specific with your membership, and craft your group’s public persona. Be ready for resistance. Some groups purposely avoid creating a clear and deliberate profile. Sometimes this is due to a lack of vision. Other times, it is because group leaders fear that the organization will appear exclusive, and in so doing, limit their prospective membership. In practice though, the opposite it true. The more clearly you describe your group, the more alluring you make it for those who hold similar attributes. In marketing, this is referred to as a ‘targeted audience’. And just as decades of advertising experience has taught us, the more directly you target your audience, the more productive your pitch. So even if half as many people show up to your meetings, you can rest easy knowing that those who do, will be twice as motivated, committed and productive.

Setting Your Identity

A strong group identity will transcend the individual personalities of your team members. It will infuse your efforts with clear and present meaning. What’s more, it will serve as a powerful beacon for those who may want to collaborate with you.

Developing this identity isn’t hard. Start with 3 to 5 Core Values or behavior characteristics (ex. Courage, Innovation, Credibility, Compromise). Articulate your Motivation and set your group’s Compass. Determine how you will incorporate, or express, these elements in your efforts. Lastly, discuss how you might Transform others from bystanders, into team members. This can be done on a single sheet of paper, in as little as thirty minutes. Once refined, it should be reiterated as often as possible, and relied upon to guide your group’s behavior.

Remember, no matter what your cause, there exists a vast inventory of dormant supporters; people who are ready to work with you, but don’t know it yet. Your group identity will be the spark that ignites their effort. Make a comittment to earn their comittment. If this is the only thing you do at your next meeting, it may just be the most productive meeting you’ve ever had.

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Two days before another Holiday Season warms its way across the hearts and minds of our MpoweredParent community, I pose to you a question.

“What aren’t you thankful for?”

It’s a question that we don’t ask often enough. It’s not likely to be raised at the dinner table, spoken at the church service or discussed in the local paper during this time of year. But it is perhaps a much more meaningful question than that which asks us to consider our blessings.

When we consider the gifts of our lives, “What are we thankful for?”, we are challenging ourselves to embrace the greater meaning of our existence. We set aside our frivolous daily distractions, and tune-in to the real substance of our life. Family, friends, health and opportunity, typically come to mind, as we pause to recognize the things in our world that we could not do without.

“For those who will make a difference in this world, there is no more powerful, positive and inspiring inquiry…” – Author’s Note

But what about the things that we have become accustomed to doing without, even though we shouldn’t? I’m not talking materialistically. I’m referencing the manner and extent to which our lives have embodied our values. Are we accomplishing our goals, fulfilling our responsibilities, reaching our potential? Do we have healthy relationships? Have we taken charge of our future?

“What aren’t you thankful for?” At first glance, this question seems negative or even accusatory. That’s probably why we don’t ask it. But I encourage you to view it differently, because to those who will make a difference in this world, there is no more powerful, positive and inspiring inquiry than that which I propose.

In acknowledging the issues that deserve more of our attention, we tune-in to the aspects of our lives that have gone unreconciled. These are the places we haven’t gone, the heights we haven’t reached, the accomplishments we haven’t made and the impression our presence has failed to leave. You can apply these concepts to many areas of your life. My concern is with you as person, and the extent to which you have achieved happiness; both for yourself and for those fortunate enough to be around you.

Are you a powerful person? The purest form of power is found in enrichment; the manner in which we contribute to our families, our organizations, our activities (big and small), and all areas over which our involvement stands to have impact. Powerful people recognize their role, and inhabit it in all ways. The future is tomorrow, and the quality of tomorrow is contingent upon today’s investment. There’s no room for distraction or dilution of this responsibility, but that’s exactly what our daily routine does to us -if we let it.

Consumed by the daily marathon, oppressed by the common malaise, many of our goals are forfeit to apathy and indecisiveness. We feel unmotivated, uncommitted, maybe even uncontrolled. But it’s an illusion. In actuality, ambivalence is just the last vestige of the unchallenged. We can get tired. We can be busy. At times we can become disillusioned, but we can never allow ourselves to become detached from the challenges that push us to be better people.

So here’s my challenge. At this poignant time, ask yourself, and those around you, “What aren’t you thankful for?” Confront what disappoints you (or them), and secure a commitment to changing it. Honor that for which you are blessed, by pursuing that which has eluded you. Above all, we should be thankful for the opportunity to achieve, amend, construct or capture whatever aspect of our lives has left us wanting. So as you pay tribute to the wonderful blessings of the life that surrounds you, devote the same respect towards the unaccomplished. Don’t mourn it, my friends, challenge it.

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Nov
15

A Life Is Not Important

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“A life is not important, except in the impact it has on other lives.”

One of my favorite quotes owes its creation not to a world leader, professional entertainer or renowned orator, but to a humble baseball player from the 1940′s. Jackie Robinson didn’t set out to change the world, but by living his life in this simple, humble mindset, he left a legacy that continues to have a profound impact upon humanity today.

We all have the potential to become people of tremendous consequence. What often impedes us is not a lack of wealth, prestige, access or opportunity, but understanding. We misunderstand our own role. We underestimate the impact of our daily lives. We overlook the amazing breadth of our own influence. We downplay our importance to others, and ignore our own ability to make this home, town, country or world a better place. This isn’t just a sacrifice of self-respect, it is a forfeit of responsibility. There are some, however, who choose to walk a different path, and it is to them, whom the future belongs.

I am one who never sought to be a person of influence (and some would be quick to remind me that I am not). Nonetheless, my young life has rewarded me with a long list of very poignant and heartwarming memories. Tales of human triumph, stories of unlikely success, adversities overcome, friendships fostered, futures reclaimed; all memories earned through the simple and humble principle of engagement. I acknowledge that my role in life stands to effect others, and I embrace the importance of my daily interactions -regardless of how small. While the world may never come to view me as a “person of consequence”, I try to live my life in a consequential way.

“Far too many people willingly forfeit their legacy to the inconsequential utility of routine. The future is owned by those who recognize their own importance.” – Author’s Note

Many of us mistakenly look to other people, or other positions, as having more importance than we have ourselves. That simple falsehood is responsible for 90% of the world’s problems. Instead of diffusing or delegating consequence to others, we must make a commitment to embrace our own. More than an occasional good deed, this mindset is embodied within our daily routine. It is the manner in which we inhabit our role, and the seriousness with which we view our own legacy. It is a humble and simplistic acceptance of our responsibility to one another.

We become people of influence not simply by what we do, but by how we do it. Like fingerprints, our values are imprinted upon everything that we do. The secret lies in how we share ourselves; how our interactions convey those values. Jackie Robinson’s fame allowed him to influence millions of people at once. We see his icon and are instantly reminded of his legacy. You too have a legacy to share. You leave a piece of yourself with each and every person that you engage with. The challenge is to make a daily investment in the life of those with whom your path will cross.

Each morning, our alarm clock wakes us up to a seemingly endless list of requirements, responsibilities and obligations. We bounce from one thing to the next, dutifully checking tasks off of our list. At days end, we look back at what we’ve done, and plan ahead to the tasks waiting for us when the starter pistol goes off again. Rarely do we pause long enough to distinguish between “what” we did, and “how” we did it. Make tonight different. Make tonight the night that something as routine and arbitrary as your daily grind, becomes the means by which you share your legacy with the world. “A life is not important, except for the impact it has on other lives.” From now on, begin each day with the determination that your impact will be a big one.

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Nov
15

Cultivating Influence

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In Part I of this series, Got Influence? we described the subtle, yet vital role played by a person or organization’s level of influence. Aided by the benefit of influence, a person or entity can quickly achieve the momentum they need to effectively accomplish their goals. Without it, though, you will be forced to do things the old fashioned way, the hard way. This will cost you valuable resources, forestall the accomplishment of your goals and limit the breadth of your success.

Truth be told, work without influence is only “old fashioned” to those who have recently come to understand the tremendous role played by this often-unseen force. It’s impact is both ancient and omnipresent, but until you incorporate it into some aspect of your strategic mindset, you may as well be laboring in the stone age. The most successful and productive people have learned to use their personal connections to amplify, multiply and emulsify their efforts. In so doing, every step forward becomes a leap. Every door opened, unlocks three more. Each successive project becomes less cumbersome than the prior.

“People without influence expend too much energy jumping through hoops, wrestling with bureaucracy, negotiating with lower management and commiserating with others in the same position.” – Author’s Note

One way to look at influence is as an ever-expanding, interwoven network of reciprocal favors; a barter system. The goal of the game is to take whatever resources you have control over, and market them to people who may someday be in a position to return the favor. Though not all enter this game on equal footing, the fact is that we all have resources to leverage.

If you’ve got millions of dollars, you’ll invest in the right campaign contributions, you’ll donate to charities run by the right people, you’ll lubricate business deals with the right companies and you’ll socialize in circles which are well-traveled by people pursuing the exact same strategy. With each step, your influence will grow exponentially.

Granted, not everyone has tons of money (and we’re going to overlook some of the means frequently used by those who don’t), but there are plenty of legitimate ways for the common man or woman to build influence. Start by outlining what sphere you hope to gain influence in. Identify the people who occupy the executive positions in that sphere, and begin working your way towards them. Make yourself relevant to them. Invest your efforts in their efforts. Insert yourself into the peripheral of their social circle. Find out what interests them, and determine how to become a resource, or develop a reputation, in that area.

Find a way to become a social, professional, legal, or philanthropic asset to them, and make sure they know it. If you can’t reach them, start with their friends, family or colleagues. Better yet, start with someone above them. View your development of influence as a ladder. The higher you go up the executive ladder, and the closer you get to the shot-caller themselves, the more power and scope your influence will have.

The goal of influence isn’t to control everything, but to gain preferred access to it. People with influence solve most of their problems with a phone call. People without influence expend much of their energy jumping through hoops, wrestling with bureaucracy, negotiating with lower management and commiserating with others in the same position. They become frustrated and tired.

Those last two sentences should stick in your head. For as natural as these observations will seem to some, I know that others amongst us find this subject uncomfortable; maybe even unethical. To be honest, I still find myself in this category. But no successful person has ever benefited from naivete. Adhere to your values. Stay true to your principals. Conduct yourself with honor, but don’t forfeit another ounce of your effort to ignorance. Somewhere, right now, another person or organization is out there investing in their influence. Don’t let them pass you by.

Read Part I of this Series: Got Influence? by Timothy Shoemaker

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