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What does this say about my child?

Contrary to popular belief, bullying occurs across all social strata. The fact that your child has been targeted by a bully says nothing about their popularity, confidence or social skills. The anti-social behavior exhibited by bullies is created by social competition, which is omnipresent amongst adolescents. Moreover, the fact that your child has been brought to tears by the situation does not mean that they are weak. Most well-adjusted kids are bound by a set of rules and etiquette that leaves them feeling helpless against those who either lack, or would seem to take advantage of those same values. In helping our kids to defeat the neighborhood bully, we don’t need to kick them in the butt, and we don’t need coddle them, we just need to give them the right tools. They’ll be happy to do the rest themselves.

Why is this happening now?

If your family is dealing with a bullying problem, chances are that your child is about 14 years old, and that most of the negative behavior your concerned about is occurring while they’re at school. For a lot of you, reading that sentence should give you some immediate comfort, because it demonstrates that most aspects of bullying are understandable, and predictable.

Bulling is environmentally based, and driven by social unrest. It is most prevalent between the 6th and 8th grades. It can occur at other times, though, which is why we need to prepare our children for it as early as possible. Its also important to review this subject with them periodically. Truth is, any time an immature person, or group of persons, perceives a significant shift in the social dynamics of their world, there is a good chance for a bullying flare up. The good news is, with the right techniques, it’s not only possible to shield your child from the harms of bullying, but to give them the tools they need to stop a bullying attack in its tracks.