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GETTING STARTEDemotionalbodylanguagekeystothekingdometalking points
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Practice Makes Perfect

The next time you’re in front of a mirror, practice smiling for the camera. Only this time, think about scrubbing the toilette while you do it. Now think about the first time you heard the word “mommy” or “daddy” come out of your child’s mouth. Having changed nothing but your thoughts, you’ll notice something different about your smile. When we fake smile, we use a series of voluntary muscle controls to display our teeth and pull the corners of our mouth up…Cheese! When we smile for real, we use a combination of voluntary and involuntary muscles. The involuntary muscles cause our cheeks to puff. They pull the corners of our eyes down and furrow our forehead. If we’re really happy, it all works together. If not, there’s something amiss about the smile. And now you know what it is.

With only the slightest amount of practice, you can now begin to identify all the fake smiles flashed your way. “To what end”, you ask? Well aside from being a neat parlor trick, imagine your teenie flashed a fake smile your way on their way in the door. Something’s bugging them, but they’re embarrassed to talk about it, so they feign normalcy and head off to their room to sulk. Tipped off by the fake smile, you could divert them towards the kitchen instead. A few cookies and gentle questions later, and the two of you could have that daily crisis all worked out.

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Not only does this type of tactic save your teen from some needless suffering, but it reinforces your role as mentor and friend. It stimulates a strong parent/child bond and paves the way for a lifetime of productive conversation.

The following pages are a quick reference guide to interpreting body language. If you’re interested in this subject, there are plenty of good books available to expand upon this lesson. Just remember, its not only about interpreting the signals, it’s about using that knowledge to improve communication within the family. Click here to learn what every body is saying. (click here)

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