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Goal Setting

Never has so easy and essential a principle been so often misunderstood. Whether you are planning for an evening discussion regarding a progress report, or forming a strategy to address a problem with substance abuse, every meaningful discussion should establish a goal. Goals are powerful. They motivate, focus and direct our team towards success. But goals are much more complex than many believe them to be. In fact, far too many of us mistakenly believe that we’ve set goals, when we’ve actually only spoken an idea or acknowledged a concept. And that is where we fall fatally short.

The world is full of brilliant ideas that never rose to fruition. A great many families believe that they are embracing specific values, when in fact they’ve only acknowledged the concepts. Good ideas, important values, cannot go undeveloped; no matter how obvious or apparent they may seem. These things must be manufactured into goals. They must be acted upon deliberately and steadily; or they may as well be forfeit to chance. If you expect certain accomplishments from your children, but fail to develop them as goals, you are pointing yourself in the direction of failure.

Failing to Plan / Planning to Fail

As the old saying goes, there is a fine line between “failing to plan” and “planning to fail”. Whether your domain is business, military or child rearing, the key to achieving your goals is found in the formation of the goals themselves. All too often, we get so fixated on the results, that we fatally neglect the process by which results are attained. Achievement isn’t a result, its a process.

So in developing your game plan, make sure that each goal is S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-Bound). Whether we’re talking good grades, a winning season or a drug-free adolescence, it isn’t enough to simply plop a goal down in front of the team. The goal must be well developed. The team needs methods to use, a means by which to measure progress and a way of knowing when the goal has been achieved. Most important, and perhaps most difficult, the team needs to buy into the effort. These elements are particularly crucial when dealing with teens.

Note: You may notice that I’m using the word team pretty frequently. It is true that not all families can reach unanimity on what it is that’s important to them. If those circumstances are yours, just remember that a team can be a few as two people, so long as they are each actively engaged in the pursuit of a common goal. (click here to continue)