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In The Home

In all the hustle and bustle of family life, it can be difficult to find the time and opportunity to really monitor for the signs of substance abuse. For a lot of teens, home is just a place to sleep and refuel. For a lot of parents, home is a never ending saga of crisis management. It’s not hard for the subtle signs of underage drinking or drug use to sneak past you. These suggestions will give you the tools you need to even the playing field.

The truth is, your primary defense is prevention. Unfortunately, we have to start by admitting that you are not going to catch your child the first time, or even the first few times, that they experiment with alcohol, tobacco or other drugs. Teens have been through years of “life skills” training at school. They know it’s illegal. They know it’s risky. They know that their family disapproves of it. They will do all that they can to avoid the trouble, and subsequent lectures, that will befall them if caught. Of course, just like the speeder who “never speeds” until the one time they are actually caught, kids will instinctively claim that it was their first time when they are first caught. Have the wisdom to see your discovery for what it is, a problem in need of attention.

The Basics: You know those little towels, hats, shirts and trinkets that the alcohol companies distribute for free? We call them giveaways. Why would a company do that? Because they’ve got decades of research and financial reports that link those giveaways to sales returns. The congressional hearings about Joe Camel in the 80′s revealed much about the complex ways in which these advertising tactics work on our decision making process. From sugary cereals to fatty fast foods, giveaways are potently influential. A large-scale longitudinal study recently published in the Archives of Pediatric Medicine, revealed that teens who own one or more pieces of alcohol “branded” merchandise are 166% more likely to begin drinking in the next 8 months. Likewise, kids who begin drinking underage are 140% more likely to soon own such “branded” trinkets. So while only about 1 in 15 kids actually retains these things long enough to hang in the closet or sit on a shelf, those that do are sending a very clear danger sign. Don’t let it pass you by.

The Bedroom:
One of the best investments a parent can make is in that of a clean bedroom for their kid. That doesn’t mean ordering your kid to do it, that means doing it yourself every once and a while. Some parents have difficulty with the thought of “searching” their child’s bedrooms. For those of you in this category, rest assured, you don’t have to search…but you better clean the heck out of that room. It’s your best chance of picking up on the early warning signs of substance abuse. Pill wrappers under the bed or in the garbage can. Burnt soda cans with holes punched in them. Marijuana seeds wedged in the carpet. Razor marks on the dresser top. Empty bottles of “Canned Air”. Paper or plastic bags with chemical odors inside etc. Any of these things could provide the hint you need to save your child’s life.

Look closely. Think like a teen. Unravel the socks, shake out the boots, remove drawers from dressers and look inside. Check out the windows. Are there slits cut into the screens so cigarettes can be be discarded. What about ashes or burn marks on the window sill. Oftentimes, the stuff is close to the bed, window, or work area, where it can be quickly re-hidden at the sound of approaching footsteps.

Decorum: Have they taken a sudden interest in incense? Do clouds of body spray erupt whenever the doors is opened? Is there a lock on the door or dresser? Do they have a safe? Pills are often hidden inside pens or magic markers. Don’t forget to check the books and cans for false compartments. Sad but true, this stuff is widely available and marketed towards kids on the internet. Just do a google search for “hiding your stash”. Or for a how-to video, try the same search on youtube. Just like when you were a kid….right? Times have changed.

Laundry: The laundry is a potential treasure trove. Another one of our recommendations is for you to volunteer to do laundry duty. In so doing, make sure you’re on the lookout for vomit or urine stains on clothes and bedding. Drool marks on the upper chest can say a lot. Burn marks around the waste area of shirts and pants are sometimes seen with young marijuana users. As are burnt pockets; from a lit pipe that had to be hastily hidden.

Be sure to empty all pockets. Even if you don’t find pills, bags, powder or vials, you may just come across things like Visine, Nubreath mints, lighters or other paraphernalia closely associated with substance abuse. Be clever enough to pick up on the items that kids use to mask their drug use. And if you already do your kid’s laundry, be wary of “midnight washer”. The kid who suddenly takes interest in doing his own laundry may be cleaning his tracks.

The entryway: We would never view this critical area of our home as a checkpoint, but we can’t afford to dismiss it’s crucial significance to the protection of our family. You will be very happy to know that the measures we describe here will actually make your home a much MORE welcoming place. All people and all objects that enter our home pass through this one small area. Unfortunately, this could include intoxicated teens and the substances which could rob them of their future. If we’re going to have a fighting chance to pick up on these things, we’ve got to satisfy two important elements: Presence and Preparation.

Get in the habit of physically meeting everyone who comes into your house. You have to stop multitasking for just a moment and give them your full attention. Go up to them and greet them with a handshake, hug, kiss or hi-5. This minimal effort at least provides you with the opportunity to detect problems. You just can’t do that by yelling “Hi Honey!” from the kitchen. As you’ll soon see, your ‘presence’ is a present in more ways than one.

Next, you’ve got to make sure that your entryway is properly staged. It should be well lit, preferably with light projecting from both above and below shoulder level. You need to be able to clearly see inside nostrils, and remove the shadows that are typically cast over eye sockets. Remove any air fresheners or fragrant flowers that could mask the odors of alcohol, tobacco or marijuana. Finally, install a speedbump that will slow people down a bit and give you time to greet them. No need for cement here, just institute a “no shoes” policy or set the home alarm with an entry delay. These small tasks cause people to linger for just a moment prior to moving past the entryway. This ‘preparation’ will make your job easy, effective and inconspicuous.

Click here to download a Free PDF file describing the Hug Technique in detail. We’ve even made a handy checklist for you!

Now that the stage has been set, just work it into your routine. When someone comes home, take 30 seconds to physically greet them. Ask them about their day or wherever they’ve been. As you’re doing so, inhale through your nose to detect foreign odors in their hair or on their breath. Let your eyes scan their clothes for stains or burns. Are their fingertips yellow? Are their eyes red? Is there white powder in their nostrils? Is their speech slurred? Are they acting spacey? Can they stand without swaying?

This little 30 second run down will offer much more to your family than the peace of mind that you originally came here for. Like the drug testing we spoke about earlier in this tutorial, the empowerment that comes from this small measure will reward you and your child with more mutual trust. You will feel more inclined to trust them, knowing that you are more capable of actually verifying their good conduct. Without a word being spoken, your child will know that he can’t easily sneak drugs or intoxication by you. At the same time, you will quickly establish a baseline of your child’s behavior and mannerisms. This will enable you to quickly pick up on small changes. Finally, your involvement conveys one clear sentiment…you care. This momentary meeting doesn’t just give you an opportunity to pick up on drug use, it will also alert to when they’ve had a bad day, when they’re feeling sick, or when they’re worried about something. Only the physical meeting can reveal those things to you, and when you notice it, you demonstrate the true value and sincerity of your friendship.